No Cussing Zone*

13 Nov

Every one believes in some thing- like Jeebus- that is bigger than them. Some thing unquestionable that you know just is. Mine is nature. Now before you go thinking I’m some granola crunchin’, smelly, tree hugging hippie I am not. I wear much better shoes!  I love to garden and this weekend Nature offered up an exceptional 75 degree sunny Saturday so I set off to Home Depot to grab my favorite winter flower; the red Cyclamen. I was only going to get enough for the two planters on our front porch because they are a spendy $3 a pot. That may not seem like much but with 5 plants per pot I have to budget $30 just for plants and then have room for soil and mulch. It’s worth the $60 splurge to add a vibrant pot of red to wish me well on the way out and welcome me home after a day of ducking insults at work. Plus, I snapped up five cans of glossy black spray paint for the new patio set that The Man hunted all over New Town to find for me. We wanted the perfect vintage set and it took months to find but he did it. Only problem is  – it’s green. Not for long!

When I walked into Home Depot I started to panic because all I saw were purple and yellow Pansies. Ick! Then a caught a glimpse of vibrant red. And there peaking around the Pansies was one solid , 5 tiered rack of red Cyclamens! Score! The garden dude asked me what I was looking for and I told him I just spotted them. So he says how many do you need? And I tell him my plans for the 10 I need for my planters. He proceeds to make me a deal I can not resist because they needed room for Christmas trees.

“I will give you that entire rack for $20”.

WTF!  All for twenty dollars? Really?

“Really? That entire rack …that’s like 200 plants for two- zero dollars?”


So we load them in my truck and they barely fit. I sing on the way home and give every one the “I am fucking winning today ” look!

I arrive home and tell the neighbor and The Man about my epic deal then get down to the business of replacing the color that the Summer flowers and blooming trees took with them to hibernation. I love to garden- it’s my church of sorts. Just me, the dirt, the flowers and a stray dog and cat or two. No talking or music- just a rustle of leaves in the Fall breeze. No cussing (* unless I scratch myself or grab a surprise handful of cat poop).



18 Responses to “No Cussing Zone*”

  1. hawaiisurfbreakchristina November 15, 2011 at 5:54 PM #

    I encounterd a new word Pussy boogers” It is some one who screws ya and then hangs around!

  2. Lissie November 15, 2011 at 2:28 PM #

    I love the cyclamen!

    I’m not much of a gardener, but I do enjoy growing tomatoes, peppers, and watermelons in the summer. And I always grow herbs on my porch outside my kitchen.

    I love the blog – I have a tendency to swear like a truck driver (which I really have to contain while I’m teaching), so it’s nice to see someone else who writes the way I think!

  3. Mandy Martin November 13, 2011 at 10:25 PM #

    Wow! I am so impressed! When can you come do my house? LOL. I love planting flowers, too, actually. Didn’t do any this year though – spring, summer or now. Probably because I hate my house. When I loved my house, I loved making it pretty with flowers. However, once I get my New House – it’s on like Donkey Kong! I am particular to red flowers as well.

    One saving grace, I do have a few flowering bushes – I planted some Lantana about 3 years ago and it is humongous! I also have three gardenias and two Laura pendulums.

    This isn’t my Lantana – mine is larger; but this is the color of the flowers. I love it because it is a butterfly magnet.

    • Honey Badger Press November 13, 2011 at 10:45 PM #

      Oh, that’s Confetti Lantana! Love it! Lantana is one of my all time favorites because it is beautiful pretty much year round. I am adding red Lantana next year! great minds, my friend!

      I shall help you with your yard as soon as we return from Italy! You are taking me, right?

      • Mandy Martin November 15, 2011 at 9:20 PM #

        I wish you were going to Italy with us – that would guarantee we’d get in trouble! LOL

    • Alison Casilli November 16, 2011 at 9:47 PM #

      Ok i just read that article about amnicuring your kitty and now I read about your Lantana that I have to duck under everytime I come over there. Mind in the gutter again!! Trim your bush Mandy! (grossed myself out)

  4. Non-Stop Mom November 13, 2011 at 9:23 PM #

    So pretty!!! I love to garden – but I just haven’t had the time to do it this year. That, and not having an outside water source kind of sucks. Stupid rental house.


    • Honey Badger Press November 13, 2011 at 9:39 PM #

      Is the owner a cheap bastard?

      • Non-Stop Mom November 13, 2011 at 9:41 PM #

        Oh you have no idea……..I begged for a year to get a new bathroom floor, and when he finally did and the contractors started working on it, one of them literally put his foot through the floor because it was so rotted out.

        My stove shot sparks at me for about 6 months before I got that replaced. =/

        There are 2 outside faucets – but neither one of them are connected to a water source. Stupid.

      • Honey Badger Press November 13, 2011 at 9:43 PM #

        Holy shit, Girl! Sparks? Jeebus…glad it didn’t burn down around you! What an ass clown! Want me to come over and help you beat his ass? I

      • Non-Stop Mom November 13, 2011 at 10:04 PM #

        Oh hell, just come over so that we can hang out and have fun!

      • Honey Badger Press November 13, 2011 at 10:43 PM #

        You evil temptress! Ok i’ll bring the wine and cookies!

      • Non-Stop Mom November 13, 2011 at 10:44 PM #

        Sounds like a deal to me – or, I’ll make brownies so that you can just bring the wine.

      • Honey Badger Press November 13, 2011 at 10:49 PM #

        Can you come rent the house next to me? I have a feeling we would totally rule the neighborhood bitches!

      • Non-Stop Mom November 13, 2011 at 11:02 PM #

        OMG could you imagine? There would have to be caution tape around the entire neighborhood, and warning signs….

  5. Honey Badger Press November 13, 2011 at 9:12 PM #

    P.S. Kelly Wiegman- you won the free Starbuck’s for sharing my blog! Email your contact info to me ( address & email) to catrainwater (at) gmail (dot) com so I can send your prize to you!

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