Clerical Errors: Part Are You F*cking Kidding Me!

19 Aug
So remember how just yesterday I said my ticket was clear, because the nice people at the police department said it was? So I was informed I needed to pay $20 (another $20) to completely clear it. You know what, that sucks, but not as bad as being arrested and thrown in jail for no good reason sucks. My daughter, The Girl , volunteers to drive over there and pay it so we can be done and she doesn’t have to have a criminal Mommy. This is incredibly sweet of her, because I am a four-hour drive away. She is about an hour from this little town so she shows up there this afternoon. Guess what? No , go ahead and guess…

They won’t fucking take her money! Know why? Because they don’t have proof that I paid my ticket! If you haven’t read the entire  epically fucked up beyond all recognition ticket story that has loomed over my head and freedom since March- then read here, I am certain you will find it at least entertaining and possibly scare the shit out of you when you read how a clerical error could cost you your freedom and several thousand dollars! Mind you I have faxed the proof and taken it personally to them for a total of now FOUR times. I have given them a copy of the fax receipt and a copy of the receipts THEY gave me acknowledging they have everything they need, that I paid and it’s all their fault. So imagine my surprise when I have this conversation today with The Girl:

“Mom, they won’t take the $20 because they said you haven’t given them proof you got your inspection.”

“WTF! I faxed it and you were there the two times I personally handed it to them.”

“I know Mom, I’m pretty pissed, too. What do you want me to do to her.”

I am certain The Girl  was really asking me what she should do…not so much what she should do to someone. She might have my , um, temper.

“Let me talk to her.”

“She said you have to call from your phone.”

Jeebus Christmas, seriously! So I get the number, drive my ass home so I can call with all of the proof in front of me .It goes to voicemail. I call three more times. Same result. So I Google and get a main line in and finally get transferred to the retard that talked to my daughter. My intention was to play it cool, even though I have done that every other time I was there or called, thinking if I’m nice, they’ll be happy to help me. But not this time, nope that raging Rainwater Indian popped right out with a tomahawk heady to scalp someone!

“Retarded Ass Hat PD, how may I help you?”

“Yes, my daughter was just there to pay my ticket, AGAIN, and was told you won’t take the money AGAIN! What’s the issue?”

“We don’t have proof you got your registration sticker.”

So I tell her that I faxed it in March and personally handed it to her supervisor on two other occasions and I have a receipt from him saying I am all clear AND I just spoke with him and he said to just bring in $20.

“Oh, I can’t see the files.”. Oh my gosh y’all , I am speechless.

“Then. How. Do. You . Know. I . Didn’t . Get . A . Freaking. Sticker!”

“Just says on the system.”

“Look, you monkeys have screwed me over since March. MARCH! I have been there three times, paid you once and then you laughingly made a clerical error that should have resulted in me being arrested when I went to renew my license. But they didn’t arrest me! You know why? Because I showed them the 100 pieces of paper I sent you all , and you all sent me, verifying I have paid and did everything I was supposed to do. Even DPS thinks you guys are morons. So what do you want me to do now! Do I need to make and eight-hour round trip on Monday and hope I don’t get pulled over on the way?”

“I’m sorry this has happened but yo…”

“I’ll let the next DPS Trooper who tries to take me to jail know you’re sorry and that will be really super comforting to me as I pay three thousand dollars to post bail and maybe not have to spend a weekend in jail because you guys are not available on the weekends”.

“Ma’am, is your daughter close? I will take the money”.

Awesome! That’s fucking awesome because right now I have a blood pressure headache, my heart is racing and I seriously think I might need to go to the ER but that’s fucking awesome. I hope I get to live to see this actually cleared and then buy an ad in your local paper to warn people how epically inept you all are at your job. The Girl tells me she has a receipt now, she also told me there was a person in line with her that actually got arrested  at their house and went to jail all because that same PD made a clerical error.
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4 Responses to “Clerical Errors: Part Are You F*cking Kidding Me!”

  1. howtoskinnyacat @ blogspot August 21, 2011 at 12:24 PM #

    Nope not APD- in fact- an APD officer just might help me make sure this is cleared up. The State worker's at DPS cut me a break, and the Texas Trooper didn't arrest me, because they couldn't even believe the epic mess. It's a small city PD- one which I will avoid now.

  2. Cay Swan August 20, 2011 at 10:58 PM #

    So sorry this has happened to you……….
    Asshat APD??? How about a lawyer as suggested, then the news channel, then the news paper, and possibly a huge billboard…AND the Texas Rangers.
    What fucking idiots we have working for the state. Keep your papers with you FOREVER!!!!

  3. paraheadache August 19, 2011 at 10:19 PM #

    I usually don't say this, but I think it's time to involve a lawyer. Seriously. If Asshat PD continues to get away with this crap they will be continuing to break state and maybe *federal* law. Obviously they think it's not a problem. I'm sure the Texas Rangers would be interested in doing a departmental investigation, which at the very least would make Asshat PD collectively crap themselves. Call a shark … er… lawyer asap. I may even know a couple of good ones to recommend.

  4. Anonymous August 19, 2011 at 9:37 PM #

    Jesus! That is just unacceptable!!!

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