Austin has its share of nice people, but the Austin vibe has sorta been kicked to the curb by the high-speed big city I’m looking out for number one pace. For instance, when I would check out at HEB there, the checkers would barely mumble a word outside of “paper or plastic”. Here, they ask you how your day is or are you staying cool in this super nova shit storm of heat and they are genuine in their inquiry. When they find out you’re new to their city- suddenly there is a group discussion on where you need to eat, places you HAVE to see, the Fall football schedule, your job, is everyone treating you well, and so on. I sorta feel a little bit important and pampered with this happens. Unless I have a schedule to adhere to.
|Not exactly the directions I was hoping for.|
I was at Target the other day and asked the checker where the Office Depot is…
“Can you give me easy directions, I’m new here and would like this to be the first day I don’t get lost.”
“Oh- where did you move from? Somewhere fun? Hot?”
“Shelly- this lady just moved from Austin to here. Can you believe that? Honey you are going to be boooored here. There is nothing to do but eat out and mingle with your neighbors. And it is slooooow, slow here. Just get on the feeder road, go under the bridge and then go straight away- you will run right into the store.”
“Um- any of these roads have names?”
“Yeah- just go under the bridge and turn left at the cows…you seen the cows?”
“Yes- by the fire station?”
Oh dear God- this is about to turn into one of those very long shopping trips when all I wanted was this 12 pack of Coke I’m not supposed to drink and directions to the office place. Shit. Now what do I do? Fake a heart attack, pee myself, jump crazy on these people. Speaking of pee- now I really have to pee and I am stuck right here with this someone shoot me now look on my face. Shit crackers!
Another lady in a different line pipes in with, “Ya’ll talkin’ about those cooows by the station? My grand daddy had too much to drink one night and ran clean into them!”
Chorus in Target: “That was your grand daddy!” Followed by many stories on where they were all at when they heard the news that some old drunk dude mowed down the cows.