Ok Kittens, it’s Easter weekend. Yeah ! Here in Texas that means an egg hunt to find tasty candy and crushing cascarones on your cousins head…or creepy Uncle Bob’s. I think it’s the only day on the calendar that kids can smack an adult in the noggin and not get their ass handed to them and put in time out. So get revenge now while Jesus says it’s ok. There will also be bar-b-que. Lots and lots of hot dogs (blech) , sausage, ribs, chicken, brisket and any other small fuzzy and tasty items from the animal kingdom. (Insert menacing music here).
If you must go, then pack your own liquid diet. Wine, beer whatever kills your appetite. Healthy? No. But desperate times call for desperate measures. At the very least your icy cold adult beverage will be your drinkable courage so you will have the fortitude to kick the food monster in the balls. Just be careful. Don’t drink so much that you get all warm and fuzzy and feel up Grandma or tongue kiss your cousin. Your brother WILL post those pictures to Facebook and add them to the next family slide show.